Australia: An ‘utter bastard of a cat’ is looking for a new home

AUSTRALIA -- Would you adopt a cat described as an ‘utter bastard’ by an animal adoption agency?

Mr Biggles – or ‘Lord Bigglesworth’ – is described as ‘gorgeous’ with ‘slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes’ in the adoption ad.

But unfortunately, compliments are few and far between in the Australian PetRescue advertisement.

‘Catty tantrums’, nipping and a tendency to swipe at feet all serve to show the cat in a pretty bad light.

According to his animal shelter ‘Cat People of Melbourne’, two-year-old Mr Biggles is a despot and dictator, he will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards. There is some warning that Lord Bigglesworth is displeased with you, his eyes will go dark and tail will start swishing harder.

‘Mr Biggles likes his cuddles on his terms, and will sit in your lap when he decides it’s time. If the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you.’

While the author does admit Mr Biggles ‘has a secret soft side’ and likes kittens, cuddles and sleeping on ‘the human’s bed’, they warn the reader Mr Biggles is ‘not for the faint-hearted’.

The ad’s author continues: ‘He is a full blooded tomcat with very firm boundaries.

‘Mr Biggles needs an owner that won’t take his nipping personally, but won’t let him get away with bad behavior either.

‘He will make the right person an exceptional feline companion for life, because when he gives his heart it will be absolutely and fully given without return.'

Lord Bigglesworth believes he was put on this earth to be decorative and be worshiped by his human slaves!

Are you that one special person for Mr. Biggles?

(Metro UK - May 18, 2017)